Same Name (#52Ancestors, Week 6)

There's sort of a funny tradition in my dad's family of giving a father's name as the son's middle name. It worked for my paternal grandfather, Harry Nels (Nels was his mother's father's name), and for my dad, Stanley Harry. My parents switched it up a bit with my brother, Stanley Christopher, but he always went by Chris to the family. 

The only other same name in recent memory is my maternal grandmother’s brother Leonard Graf who named his oldest son Leonard, after himself, and his second son John, after his father.

Back row: Leonard, "Young Leonard," and  John Graf; Verna Graf Falk and  Burt Falk, Raymond Smith
Front row: Martha Graf, Peter Smith, Martha Smith, Sarah Falk, Martha Ann Smith, John Graf

What surprised me, though, as I looked through our family tree, are the number of women who named their daughters after themselves: 

My maternal great-grandmother, Martha Bonin Graf, named her daughter Martha.

My maternal great-grandmother’s daughter Marguerite named her daughter Marguerite.

Esther Foley, my maternal grandfather’s aunt, named her daughter Esther.

What’s with all these women naming their daughters after themselves? I didn’t think this was very common but it sure is in my maternal grandmother’s side of the family!

Each mother/daughter pair has an interesting story to tell, but the pair I choose to write about today is the Marthas.

My maternal grandmother was Verna Graf Falk. Her mother, Martha Bonin Graf, immigrated to America from Germany when she was a young girl. As the story goes, Martha’s mother died shortly after they arrived, leaving Martha to take care of her many younger siblings. Her father Herman Bonin remarried and had many more children who Martha helped take care of. I don’t know how, but Martha met a German immigrant named John Graf and they were married in DuPage County, Illinois in 1895. Martha and John’s first child was a son, Leonard, then came Marguerite, Irma, Verna (my grandmother) and Martha. (Irma’s sad story is told elsewhere in this blog).

Martha Graf with her daughters Verna (left) and Martha (right)

Verna and her sister were almost exactly two years apart: Verna was born on Christmas Eve, 1903 and Martha was born on Christmas Day, 1905. Verna used to tell me how disappointing Christmas time was because she had to share a birthday cake with her sister and they didn’t get any special birthday presents because their birthdays were so close to Christmas. Martha seemed to live a bit of a charmed life. Was it because she was the baby of the family, or because she was named after her mother?

Verna Graf

Martha Graf

Here's a story my grandma told about her sister Martha:

“My piano teacher used to come to the house after school, and my sister and I took lessons for several years. It seemed I always had to take mine first, and then Martha would come home and take hers One day, however, I got to take my lesson last, and wouldn’t you know it. While I was roller skating lickety split, the fire engines came by on the way to the Grace Lutheran Church. It was burning ruinously, and every kid likes to see a fire even if it is a church. But poor me, it was my turn to go home and take my piano lesson. My little sister picked up her skates and away she went to see the Grace Lutheran Church burn and the firemen put it out. It was all over by the time I got back. Woe! Is! Me! (I really didn’t have a very good lesson that day either.”

I think that Verna and her sister Martha were close, at least in their adult years, despite the perceived favoritism that Martha received. Martha stood up at Verna’s wedding.

Martha Graf Smith, Verna Graf Falk

Martha had married a man named Raymond Smith and they had two children, a daughter named (wait for it!) Martha Ann, and a son named Peter. Martha died from cancer when her children were fairly young.

Martha Graf Smith and her daughter, Martha Ann

When my mom was born her mother Verna said, “She was named after her own dear self.” I never thought about why she said that until I started writing on this theme—perhaps it was a bit of rebellion against the family tradition of naming children, especially daughters, after their mothers. I’m pretty sure my mom was glad she was a Sarah!

Verna, Sarah and Burt Falk

Long Line (#52Ancestors, Week 3)

This week’s prompt took some thought. I don’t have an extensive family line that I have researched, there’s no occupation that keeps cropping up in the family, and we don’t even have anyone named Long.

However, I do have a characteristic that has shown itself consistently in my family for at least five generations back. So I’m choosing to focus on a long line of believers in the Christian faith that has become evident to me as I have researched my family.

Admittedly, it’s hard to judge anyone’s heart, especially the heart of an ancestor from long ago, but I do see that church was a “given,” a way of life, and the fact that faith continued to be important from one generation to the next tells me how sincere their faith was. In earlier generations I find obituaries that testify to the strength of faith in my ancestors’ lives, and in the later generations I can attest from personal knowledge that my family were strong believers.

My parents, Stan and Sarah Peterson, a Lutheran minister and his wife, brought me up in the Christian faith. Their belief and relationship with the Lord was a model for me as I grew. I have had the privilege of watching my parents live their lives, good and bad, knowing the Lord and having faith in His love and provision for them.

Burton and Verna Graf Falk

I knew three out of my four grandparents and can say from personal knowledge that they all believed in Jesus Christ.  My mom’s parents were Burton and Verna Graf Falk. I knew my maternal grandmother, Grandma Falk (Verna Graf Falk), pretty well. Verna grew up in a strict Seventh Day Adventist household but went to the Lutheran church when she married Burt. I know that she often attended Bible studies and I remember her reading the Bible from beginning to end every year; she would put a dot by each chapter after she read it. Grandma was also one who lived out her faith by volunteering (I remember her making “cancer pads”) and serving through church activities.

I don’t know much about Burton’s faith, he died when I was about four. I know he was baptized in the Lutheran church and that he attended church regularly with my mom and grandma.

Adrienne Falk Frazier

I also knew Burton’s sister, my mom’s Aunt Adrienne Falk, who was raised in the same Lutheran household as Burt but embraced a more evangelical faith in her adulthood. She always shared the gospel with us when we visited, and although her forthright talk sometimes made this quiet Lutheran uncomfortable, there was no doubt about where she stood and the faith that we shared, even if we lived it out differently.

Burton and Adrienne's parents were Eric Gustaf Falk and Helen Hedin Falk. Their obituaries list their membership at Grace Lutheran Church in Aurora, Illinois, the same church in which her granddaughter (my mom) was married. So not only was the faith passed down, but membership in the same church was shared as well.

Martha Bonin Graf and John Graf

Of Verna’s parents, her mom Martha Bonin Graf was the believer. Martha was born in northern Germany in 1875 and she died in 1958. Her obituary reads: “Forty-nine years ago she was baptized [at age 34] and joined the Seventh-day Adventist church in Elgin and remained true to her faith until the time of her death.” I don’t think that her husband John Graf went to church either as a young man once he immigrated to America or after he and Martha were married.

Edna Johnson Peterson and Harry Peterson,
as I knew them

My dad grew up in Princeton, Illinois where the First Lutheran Church (formerly the Swedish Lutheran Church) was a centerpiece of the family’s life. My dad’s father, Harry Peterson, didn’t or wouldn’t talk much about his faith but he attended church regularly. He served on the church council and was a deacon, usher, and served in many other ways at the Princeton First Lutheran Church. Harry’s wife Edna, Dad’s mom, sang in the church choir and was the choir director at one time. When I knew her later in life she attended Bible studies and I even have one or two of her reference books with some of her notes in it. I also remember that she would often shed tears when she prayed; when I was young I didn’t understand this but now I interpret those tears as an emotional response to her Lord.

Herman Peterson

Celia Anderson Peterson

Harry’s dad Herman Peterson was a member of First Lutheran Church in Princeton and served on the church council for many years. His wife Cecilia maintained membership at First Lutheran church in Princeton with her husband and was a charter member of the missionary society of that church. She raised nine children who also attended church and had a strong Christian faith. Celia’s mother Inga Anderson was a member of Zion Lutheran church in Kewanee, and she was also a member of the Ladies’ Aid and Missionary Societies of the church.

My dad’s maternal grandparents also attended First Lutheran Church in Princeton, Illinois. Edna’s father Theodore Johnson was a life member of the First Lutheran Church of Princeton (according to his obituary) and at the time of his death was the financial secretary of the church. His wife, Anna Lindgren Johnson, was confirmed in the New Bedford Illinois Lutheran church and held membership there and at the Princeton Lutheran Church when her family moved there. According to her obituary, Anna was a member of Ladies Aid and Missionary Societies, a member of choir and a Sunday School teacher. Her obituary testifies to the strength of her faith: “Early in her life she accepted Christ as her Savior and has lived a consistent Christian life.”

Swan Lindgren

Anna’s father (Edna’s grandfather) Swan Lindgren was also a member of First Lutheran Church in New Bedford, served as deacon for 27 years, also taught adult Bible class. His obituary also gives testimony to his character: “Mr. Lindgren gradually failed in physical strength during the last years of his life, but he retained his mental vigor to a large degree and his Christian faith was strong and conquering.”

Interestingly, Swan Lindgren’s second wife Anna was a friend of Celia Peterson (Herman Peterson’s wife). The two ladies were often mentioned together in church news items, as in this article where they entertained the Woman’s Home and Foreign Missionary society of the Swedish Lutheran church (1919)

And the faith continues. My sisters and I share a strong faith in Jesus, and I am always encouraged at our Peterson reunions to hear the faith stories of my dad’s cousins. In fact, one of his cousin’s sons is a missionary in Central America.

Now we work and pray to instill a love of the Lord in our own children, so that they will live knowing the Lord and be light to the world as we are called to do. An old saying is that the church is one generation away from extinction. As I look back over my family history, I am inspired to see that I come from a long line of Christians who have kept the faith in their lives and have planted it in the generations that followed.

A Graf Family Christmas

Back Row: Leonard Graf, young Leonard Graf, John Graf, Verna Graf Falk, Burton Falk, Raymond Smith

Front Row: Martha Bonin Graf, Peter Smith, Martha Graf Smith, Sarah Falk, Martha Ann Smith, John Graf

Merry Christmas from the Graf family. Three generations of the family are gathered here in about 1939 to celebrate Christmas. I love how Grandma Graf is holding her little grandson Pete on her lap warmly, and how his cousin, little Sarah, is keeping a close eye on him. I don't know a lot about most of the people in this photo, but I'll tell you what I know.

The matriarch and patriarch of the family, Martha and John Graf, were the immigrant ancestors. They came from different areas of Germany. Martha came from Schleswig-Holstein in the north and John came from Wurttemberg, a southern province of Germany. My Grandma, their daughter Verna, used to say that John would always tease his wife because of her northern accent.

John and Martha married in Turner (West Chicago) Illinois in 1895. John was a harness maker and Martha a home maker. They had five children: Leonard, Marguerite, Irma, Verna, and Martha. Irma died in early childhood. Marguerite moved to Vermont and married Franklin W. Doe. The rest of the family is pictured here.

 


Martha passed away in the Elgin (Illinois) State Mental Hospital in 1958. She probably had Alzheimer’s or some sort of undiagnosed dementia. John died in 1950, recognized as a master gardener.

 

Their oldest son Leonard died in 1986. His wife was named Edith but is not pictured here; I wonder if she was behind the camera? Leonard's oldest son, also named Leonard and consistently called "Young Leonard" by my grandma, was, I think, an engineer or chemist who contributed to the war effort in World War II.  Leonard and Edith's second son Johnny flew a reconnaissance plane in World War II in the Pacific Campaign. He was shot down over the Pacific Ocean in 1945 and his body never recovered.

 

Verna, my grandmother, married Burton Falk and lived in Berwyn and Aurora, Illinois with their only daughter, my mom, Sarah. Burton died in 1965 of emphysema and Verna died in 1988.

Martha, dear sister to Verna, married Ray Smith and had two children, Martha Ann and Pete. Martha died from cancer in 1943. I know very little about her husband Ray or Martha Ann and Pete. They may or may not still be alive.

Genealogy is the compilation of names and dates in a family tree. Family history is the context and stories of those people. I haven’t done much research on my mom’s side of the family and we never connected with them in a meaningful way so I really only know the basic facts about them. Nevertheless, they are family. The lived and died; loved, laughed and cried. They celebrated Christmas together, just like I do today with my family. The world is made up of families like this, living and loving together through the bad and good. Whatever our future holds, may we, like them, keep each other close in love, both during the Christmas season and the whole year though.

Finding Baby Irma

 As far back as I can remember, this photograph of my Grandma Falk (Verna Graf Falk, my mother's mother) and her mother (Martha Bonin Graf) sat on a table in Grandma's living room in an oval frame. I was intrigued by the shape of the frame as well as the sweet photograph it contained, demonstrating the obvious tender feelings between my grandmother and her mother.

Recently a distant cousin on my mom's side sent me a copy of the photo, along with another photo (shown above) that I had never seen before, showing a baby girl in a fancy lacy dress. My cousin originally sent me a digital copy of both photos and we speculated about whether or not both little girls were my grandma. We thought that probably they were.

But when I received the photo, Martha's pin caught my eye and I looked a little closer at it. The pin contained a photo inside, and as I examined it with a magnifying glass I could hardly believe what I saw: the photograph on the pin was the same photo that my cousin had sent me. 

I believe that the little girl in the picture and on the pin is Irma, Martha and John Graf's second daughter and third child. Irma was born in West Chicago, Illinois on 1 May 1901. Sadly, little Irma died of pneumonia on 15 January, 1903 at 4 o'clock in the morning. Irma is buried in Oakwood Cemetery in West Chicago with a headstone that reads, "Our darling Irma." I can understand that a mother who had lost her 18-month-old daughter would wear a pin with the baby's photo on it. Perhaps it eased Martha's grief or was part of a mourning process for her.

My Grandma, Verna, was born less than a year after Irma's death, on Christmas Eve, 1903. I would expect that her parents would have been thrilled with another daughter after their sad loss. But I remember my mom telling me that Grandma always felt like she was a replacement for the little girl who died. I would hate to think that this is true. But what might a little girl think when she saw her mother wearing a pin containing the image of her sister who had died before she was born? 

I never gave much thought to the sister Grandma never knew, although after I visited Oakwood Cemetery and saw her grave I wondered about her short life. Now I have a face to put with "darling Irma." And while I will never know why Grandma felt diminished in her mother's eyes, I'll bet that if Irma had lived, she and Verna would have been great pals.