Finding Baby Irma

 As far back as I can remember, this photograph of my Grandma Falk (Verna Graf Falk, my mother's mother) and her mother (Martha Bonin Graf) sat on a table in Grandma's living room in an oval frame. I was intrigued by the shape of the frame as well as the sweet photograph it contained, demonstrating the obvious tender feelings between my grandmother and her mother.

Recently a distant cousin on my mom's side sent me a copy of the photo, along with another photo (shown above) that I had never seen before, showing a baby girl in a fancy lacy dress. My cousin originally sent me a digital copy of both photos and we speculated about whether or not both little girls were my grandma. We thought that probably they were.

But when I received the photo, Martha's pin caught my eye and I looked a little closer at it. The pin contained a photo inside, and as I examined it with a magnifying glass I could hardly believe what I saw: the photograph on the pin was the same photo that my cousin had sent me. 

I believe that the little girl in the picture and on the pin is Irma, Martha and John Graf's second daughter and third child. Irma was born in West Chicago, Illinois on 1 May 1901. Sadly, little Irma died of pneumonia on 15 January, 1903 at 4 o'clock in the morning. Irma is buried in Oakwood Cemetery in West Chicago with a headstone that reads, "Our darling Irma." I can understand that a mother who had lost her 18-month-old daughter would wear a pin with the baby's photo on it. Perhaps it eased Martha's grief or was part of a mourning process for her.

My Grandma, Verna, was born less than a year after Irma's death, on Christmas Eve, 1903. I would expect that her parents would have been thrilled with another daughter after their sad loss. But I remember my mom telling me that Grandma always felt like she was a replacement for the little girl who died. I would hate to think that this is true. But what might a little girl think when she saw her mother wearing a pin containing the image of her sister who had died before she was born? 

I never gave much thought to the sister Grandma never knew, although after I visited Oakwood Cemetery and saw her grave I wondered about her short life. Now I have a face to put with "darling Irma." And while I will never know why Grandma felt diminished in her mother's eyes, I'll bet that if Irma had lived, she and Verna would have been great pals.