Strong Woman (#52Ancestors Week 10)

At first glance I see no strong women in my family tree—there are no women who owned their own business, or farmed, or became famous, or overcame great obstacles. But after some thought I have decided that all women are strong in their own way, because we all have obstacles to overcome, whether great or not. So this week I’m going to write about a woman who overcame the obstacles in her life, someone whose birthday we just celebrated, although she is no longer with us to celebrate.

Sarah Margaret Falk was born the only child of Burton and Verna Falk in Berwyn, Illinois in 1938. She had a happy childhood, got through high school, and met the love of her life at Augustana College. She married Stan Peterson in 1961. They spent part of their honeymoon traveling from Illinois to Portland, Oregon where Stan spent his third year of seminary as an intern at a Lutheran church and she taught junior high school English. By the time they returned to Rock Island for Stan’s last year in seminary, Sarah was pregnant with their first child.

Sarah’s first obstacle was taking care of a colicky baby in a small apartment while her husband studied and worked. Her mother was far away and she had no close friends. It must have been a lonely, scary, frustrating time for her. However, her inner strength, fueled by her faith and her love for her husband, must have told her that this was temporary and things would get better. They eventually did. Stan and Sarah, both only children, ended up with four children of their own, and by the time the fourth one came along, Sarah had the mothering thing down pat.

Sarah and Stan spent 8 years serving at a small Lutheran church in a medium-sized Indiana town. In 1970 Stan decided to continue his education at Butler University in Indianapolis and spent two years studying for a master’s degree in counseling. The family of six lived in a three-bedroom townhouse in a crowded neighborhood of townhouses. The two oldest children were in school and the two youngest were at home with Sarah. Not long after they settled into the townhouse, Stan began his first semester of school with practical work at a rehabilitation center for alcoholics in Madison, Wisconsin. Every Sunday night he drove 350 miles from Indianapolis to Madison, Wisconsin, and then on Friday evening he drove back to Indianapolis for the weekend. During the week Sarah was at home with the four children but without a car, just a little red wagon to transport the two youngest when they needed to go to the store or just get out of the house. Sarah knew practically no one at first. During this time Sarah also had a bout with pneumonia and her youngest child spent several days in the hospital with croup. There was no money for frivolities—barely enough for the necessities—and yet her children remember these years fondly. Sarah took her children to the nearby library branch during the summer for the summer reading club, she served as cookie mom in her daughter’s Girl Scout troop, she took the oldest two to piano lessons, and found solace in the local Bible Study Fellowship. Again she found her strength in her faith and the love of her husband. 

A third major obstacle in Sarah’s life was when her son developed a brain tumor when he was 29. He was married, later divorced, but Sarah was there for him whenever he called. He lived for 10 years until the tumor took his life. Amazingly, Sarah delivered a eulogy at his funeral that was full of warmth and love. She never displayed any bitterness over her loss.

Sarah met the last obstacle of her life when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Over her last ten years the disease slowly took her away until she finally succumbed last year. During all that time, however, she rarely complained or made a fuss. I believe that the depth and strength of her faith and the love that permeated her life carried her through those days of uncertainty and forgetfulness. Sarah could not overcome this final obstacle but she met it with the faith and grace that defined her life. Because of the way Sarah lived her life until the very end, she is my strong woman for this week. Thank you, Mom. 

A Graf Family Christmas

Back Row: Leonard Graf, young Leonard Graf, John Graf, Verna Graf Falk, Burton Falk, Raymond Smith

Front Row: Martha Bonin Graf, Peter Smith, Martha Graf Smith, Sarah Falk, Martha Ann Smith, John Graf

Merry Christmas from the Graf family. Three generations of the family are gathered here in about 1939 to celebrate Christmas. I love how Grandma Graf is holding her little grandson Pete on her lap warmly, and how his cousin, little Sarah, is keeping a close eye on him. I don't know a lot about most of the people in this photo, but I'll tell you what I know.

The matriarch and patriarch of the family, Martha and John Graf, were the immigrant ancestors. They came from different areas of Germany. Martha came from Schleswig-Holstein in the north and John came from Wurttemberg, a southern province of Germany. My Grandma, their daughter Verna, used to say that John would always tease his wife because of her northern accent.

John and Martha married in Turner (West Chicago) Illinois in 1895. John was a harness maker and Martha a home maker. They had five children: Leonard, Marguerite, Irma, Verna, and Martha. Irma died in early childhood. Marguerite moved to Vermont and married Franklin W. Doe. The rest of the family is pictured here.

 


Martha passed away in the Elgin (Illinois) State Mental Hospital in 1958. She probably had Alzheimer’s or some sort of undiagnosed dementia. John died in 1950, recognized as a master gardener.

 

Their oldest son Leonard died in 1986. His wife was named Edith but is not pictured here; I wonder if she was behind the camera? Leonard's oldest son, also named Leonard and consistently called "Young Leonard" by my grandma, was, I think, an engineer or chemist who contributed to the war effort in World War II.  Leonard and Edith's second son Johnny flew a reconnaissance plane in World War II in the Pacific Campaign. He was shot down over the Pacific Ocean in 1945 and his body never recovered.

 

Verna, my grandmother, married Burton Falk and lived in Berwyn and Aurora, Illinois with their only daughter, my mom, Sarah. Burton died in 1965 of emphysema and Verna died in 1988.

Martha, dear sister to Verna, married Ray Smith and had two children, Martha Ann and Pete. Martha died from cancer in 1943. I know very little about her husband Ray or Martha Ann and Pete. They may or may not still be alive.

Genealogy is the compilation of names and dates in a family tree. Family history is the context and stories of those people. I haven’t done much research on my mom’s side of the family and we never connected with them in a meaningful way so I really only know the basic facts about them. Nevertheless, they are family. The lived and died; loved, laughed and cried. They celebrated Christmas together, just like I do today with my family. The world is made up of families like this, living and loving together through the bad and good. Whatever our future holds, may we, like them, keep each other close in love, both during the Christmas season and the whole year though.

Happy Birthday Sarah

Sarah has been making music for 78 years.