Same Name (#52Ancestors, Week 6)

There's sort of a funny tradition in my dad's family of giving a father's name as the son's middle name. It worked for my paternal grandfather, Harry Nels (Nels was his mother's father's name), and for my dad, Stanley Harry. My parents switched it up a bit with my brother, Stanley Christopher, but he always went by Chris to the family. 

The only other same name in recent memory is my maternal grandmother’s brother Leonard Graf who named his oldest son Leonard, after himself, and his second son John, after his father.

Back row: Leonard, "Young Leonard," and  John Graf; Verna Graf Falk and  Burt Falk, Raymond Smith
Front row: Martha Graf, Peter Smith, Martha Smith, Sarah Falk, Martha Ann Smith, John Graf

What surprised me, though, as I looked through our family tree, are the number of women who named their daughters after themselves: 

My maternal great-grandmother, Martha Bonin Graf, named her daughter Martha.

My maternal great-grandmother’s daughter Marguerite named her daughter Marguerite.

Esther Foley, my maternal grandfather’s aunt, named her daughter Esther.

What’s with all these women naming their daughters after themselves? I didn’t think this was very common but it sure is in my maternal grandmother’s side of the family!

Each mother/daughter pair has an interesting story to tell, but the pair I choose to write about today is the Marthas.

My maternal grandmother was Verna Graf Falk. Her mother, Martha Bonin Graf, immigrated to America from Germany when she was a young girl. As the story goes, Martha’s mother died shortly after they arrived, leaving Martha to take care of her many younger siblings. Her father Herman Bonin remarried and had many more children who Martha helped take care of. I don’t know how, but Martha met a German immigrant named John Graf and they were married in DuPage County, Illinois in 1895. Martha and John’s first child was a son, Leonard, then came Marguerite, Irma, Verna (my grandmother) and Martha. (Irma’s sad story is told elsewhere in this blog).

Martha Graf with her daughters Verna (left) and Martha (right)

Verna and her sister were almost exactly two years apart: Verna was born on Christmas Eve, 1903 and Martha was born on Christmas Day, 1905. Verna used to tell me how disappointing Christmas time was because she had to share a birthday cake with her sister and they didn’t get any special birthday presents because their birthdays were so close to Christmas. Martha seemed to live a bit of a charmed life. Was it because she was the baby of the family, or because she was named after her mother?

Verna Graf

Martha Graf

Here's a story my grandma told about her sister Martha:

“My piano teacher used to come to the house after school, and my sister and I took lessons for several years. It seemed I always had to take mine first, and then Martha would come home and take hers One day, however, I got to take my lesson last, and wouldn’t you know it. While I was roller skating lickety split, the fire engines came by on the way to the Grace Lutheran Church. It was burning ruinously, and every kid likes to see a fire even if it is a church. But poor me, it was my turn to go home and take my piano lesson. My little sister picked up her skates and away she went to see the Grace Lutheran Church burn and the firemen put it out. It was all over by the time I got back. Woe! Is! Me! (I really didn’t have a very good lesson that day either.”

I think that Verna and her sister Martha were close, at least in their adult years, despite the perceived favoritism that Martha received. Martha stood up at Verna’s wedding.

Martha Graf Smith, Verna Graf Falk

Martha had married a man named Raymond Smith and they had two children, a daughter named (wait for it!) Martha Ann, and a son named Peter. Martha died from cancer when her children were fairly young.

Martha Graf Smith and her daughter, Martha Ann

When my mom was born her mother Verna said, “She was named after her own dear self.” I never thought about why she said that until I started writing on this theme—perhaps it was a bit of rebellion against the family tradition of naming children, especially daughters, after their mothers. I’m pretty sure my mom was glad she was a Sarah!

Verna, Sarah and Burt Falk